First Aid for Autistic Burnout
Autistic burnout is a hell of a drug. I have experienced it at least 3 times in my life in a catastrophic fashion and I am in no rush to get back to that place. That said, it feels like burnout is always at least a little bit present. The work of dealing with it is more management than eradication for many of us. Capitalism demands that we are always working, always trying to turn a profit for ourselves or others, and these demands run in direct opposition to the rest and recovery needed to escape burnout completely. So…what do we do when we feel the Burnout Reaper stalking us? I have three ideas that I want to share with you. Please consider this an incomplete list.
Meet Your Sensory Needs
When I get a new client we start out with an exploration of what their particular neurodivergence looks like, and that always includes exploring the sensory needs they have that they may or may not be meeting. We have 8 senses (possibly 9), and neurodivergent systems can experience sensitivity and/or numbness in all of them. Discovering your unique sensory profile and caring for its needs can turn down the intensity of a burnout period, though in my experience it isn’t the whole picture so it’s not a cure.
Remember, chronically unmet needs cause damage and trauma to our systems.
Before we can meet our sensory needs we need to discover what they are. This can take some work, and a whole heap of self reflection. If you are struggling with it, this is exactly the kind of thing I coach people through, so send me a message if you need help.
Jav’s Example
For the longest time I would prioritize looking ‘presentable’ whenever I found myself in a public situation (running errands, on zoom for a class, so on), to the point where if I noticed my hair was messier than I deemed socially acceptable, I would automatically reach for a hat. I would often develop headaches with this, unexplained anger, and a generally lower tolerance for social situations. It took me a while to figure out that this was due to sensory sensitivity with touch, and that hats are not my friend. I was prioritizing a social expectation over my own sensory need, and had been doing it so long I didn’t even know there was a sensory need underneath it all.
2. Spend Time With Your Special Interests
For neurotypes that include special interests, engaging with them is a way of regulating our internal experience, and developing safety. When experiencing burnout it can be incredibly supportive to find time and space where you give yourself complete permission to engage with your special interest in the way that feels best to you.
Jav’s Example
Maybe this is sorting and resorting a collection of yours, rewatching a tv show that you know everything about, or in my case, playing a silly little video game over and over.
A collection of thread in various colours, sorted into rows. Some lace is in the foreground.
You can give yourself a time limit if that feels needed, we are socialized to think it is indulgent or pointless to engage with our special interest with as much passion as they can inspire, especially if those special interests aren’t considered age appropriate or productive.
This Is Important
Pick a special interest that you have not monetized in anyway, that you do not feel expectation from others to engage with, or that require you to meet deadlines or the like. When a neurodivergent systems is in burnout the need to exercise autonomy becomes even stronger, so it is often best to find ways to take any and all demand out of what we are doing as much as possible.
Now if you find that engaging with your special interests can cause you to lose track of your bodily needs then the next idea is for you.
3. Think of Self-Care as Self-Parenting
When I say self-parenting I am not talking about the kinds of parenting we may have experienced in our own childhoods. I am talking about treating ourselves like a little kid who needs help, support, grace, and structure. This is a big thing, I am sure it could be a blog post or even a book of its own. It includes a lot of areas, but this does not need to happen all at once. We are going for 5% changes, max.
Jav’s Example
For me self-parenting started out as recognizing that the statement ‘fed is best’ is true for myself, just as much as it is true for babies. Eating bland foods that feel completely accomplishable is better than eating nothing while stressing about the strain that meal planning can be. That sort of thing. I also bought myself a stuffed animal, and gave myself permission to stop making eye contact with customer service humans. Because if I were a child in my care, experiencing the kind of distress these things were causing me, then I would want a gentle parent.
A lot of self care advice these days is rooted in the ‘Treat Yourself’ mindset. Its bubble baths and fancy coffees, and expensive spa retreats. This stuff can be nice, don’t get me wrong, but because of the price tags attached it can be out of reach for many of us. Or it can run counter to the self-care that is learning to be financially responsible (I am still working on this one). Self-parenting recognizes that the first task when taking care of our self is to meet needs, be kind, and have boundaries.
Now What?
Autistic burnout is so hard. And the prospect of adding things to your plate to manage it can feel overwhelming. So please hear me when I say, try easier. Little changes build up over time, so take the pressure off yourself whenever you can. And even if you can’t do anything about it right now, I am glad you are here.
🤍